Max Bemis will Say Anything you want him to.

In the days of knights and maidens, it wasn't an uncommon thing for a nobleman to glorify himself by commissioning a minstrel to write a song. I think. So while some may call Max Bemis's latest idea innovative, and more will call it downright batshit, I'm choosing to nod approvingly at the notion of kicking it really old school.

Read more about how for $150 and for a limited time only, Max will write a song for you and only you, your highness. Just like in medieval times, only with more overt references to masturbation.